The change

After a heart wrenching 24 hours my baby made a quick and dramatic recovery but we were in the system. Ambrose woke up and could walk again and was not vomiting. Our gut instinct felt that this was true of the first diagnosis which did not need a MRI (with general anesthetic) but the anesthetist was knocking at the door, Ambrose had fasted but we wanted a second opinion and there was not a doctor insight. We waited, stood our ground, and the reassessment confirmed our feelings and the MRI was off. But I wonder what happens to parents who don't have the confidence to question and ask questions while being bombarded by the emotions of the situation. Ironically this was a foray into the word of birthing situations so many women are apart of in the main stream system where the systematic intervention spiral the normal process to birth to need induction, epidural, forceps and on and on. I want to trust the people who want to care for my children but I need to question and find the truth of the situation every time.

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Modern human women

I have a forebear who have had 21 children but as a modern women I will not be trying to match her family composition. I have the fortune to have at least 15 months of amenorrhea after the birth of each child. As I come to the end of my child bearing years i feel pangs of closure which I will be reminded of monthly until my 50's. I am note sure how I will transition to this new phase but a celebration and mourning it will be. Although the modern women does not bear children from teenage to late 40's as my grandmothers of eras before did there is still the instinctual emotional and burning desire which can be found within.

What do you want to be when you grow up

Felix, Matilda and I like to discuss what we want to be when we grow up. Felix currently wants to be an inventor and teacher. 4 days inventing and 3 days teaching!
Matilda loves band aids blood and dead animals and has decided that she wants to be a doctor. I mean while think I might not be a teacher for ever and might be a midwife or gardener or both ;)

Travel

THere are plans brewing in our home and what I look forward most to is decluttering our lives in preparation. It is cleansing to clear away the excess in ones life and strip back to the basics. What is a little more difficult is trying to get 5 and 7 year olds to understand this notion but the process will be a great lesson for them both. The baby on the otherhand is happy to play with the crockery and cultery and will know no difference. After the start of clutter clearing we will be investigating new schools for the children and homes in new cities.........

Camping

We just spent the most enriching and inspiring camping week in NSW we have ever had as a family. Michael drove to Sydney with the camper trailer and dogs while I flew up with the children. Ambrose's god mother meet me at the airport and generously allowed us to stay with her for the night. Michael arrived the next day and after some heated last minute packing we were on our way to the Colo River, 2 hours north of Sydney.

The upper Colo Reserve was magnificent. We swam every day in the slowly receding Colo River which had better sandy stores than most beaches we have ever visited and played for hours making dams castles and miniature river systems. The baby explored nappy free for most of the week and without any limits to were he could explore he played for hours! I stopped! No phone. No iPad. No computer. No time frames. Nothing but the here and now. It took a few days to whined down but when I did I could feel my entire body relax and my patience for my family swell. Starlit nights and a fire were the catalyst for conversations with curious children about dreamtime, bipolar(!), the size of the universe, how the Easter bunny can carry so many eggs, what it is like to be born and why we must ever leave. Thank you Upper Colo we will return and cherish the memories until then.

Prep parent teacher interview Matilda

Michael and I arrange a babysitter so we can attend Matilda's first school interview. I have two concerns I want to address..... I know nothing of Matilda's feelings about how school is going or if she has made any friends. Matilda's teacher answers these questions witching moments of our interview. The next 15 minutes is a casual discussion of the prep program. As we ride to the pub for the remaining time we have together I feel so happy and confident with our kids school that I feel like I am flying and that Matilda's silence is affirmation of being in right place.

Happy Birthing Day

A year has flown past already since the happy arrival of my second son Ambrose. While Ambrose continues to master the art of walking, negotiating interactions with his siblings and socialising with his own age group I also continue to learn and develop my art of being a mother. Three is a crowd. We are now outnumbered and have to juggle time with much poise and direction but we do on a number of occasions fall in a heap. what i love about parenting with my best friend is that we complement one another. Where I might be good at organising activities and social events for my children Michael has the patience and passion to draw, sing and read to the children for hours every day. This parenting journey has deepen my love for a man I feel in love with over 13 years ago as a very young women. Michael and I sat in bed with Ambrose this morning and reminisced about that first morning we met him a year ago. knowing smiles flashed across our faces and hearts. What made the morning even more beautiful was the spontaneous happy birthday and presentation of a new tunnel for Ambrose at 6 am from Felix and Matilda. Their delight in sharing his first birthday was palpable. He is joy to us all. Ambrose has great delight in playing with both his sibling and cousin Sophie and they in him. WHat I find the most fasinating is my love seems to boil over for all three children. I though my heart was filled when I met Felix those 7.5 years ago but the human heart has the capacity beyond what I was aware. And so on this first birthday I feel inspired to tell everyone how in love I am with my children.