Escape

A busy first half of 2011 has included the birth of Ambrose, the second year of school for Felix, change of jobs for Michael, a new (additional) kinder for Matilda and becoming a mother again for me. I have longed to get out of the city and camp yet the cool winter winds has delayed this possibility and so a Lake Tyres winter break was booked. I was concerned that bring alone with 3 children and two dogs may be too much. When Matilda was 4 months I was at Lake Tyres by myself with 2 children and 2 dogs and found it a struggle. What I now realise it that 4.5 yrs ago I was struggling for control, or at least what perceived as control. I loath people controlling people especially children and yet this is what I was trying to do. I wanted to get things done when I had planned too and found myself annoyed and upset it it didn't work out for me. I yelled I cried and I felt desprately alone that summer. Fast forward to this July. More children, worse weather and by myself again but...... Things could not be more different. I came here wanting and needing to relax and regenerate myself. I wanted to reconnect with my children and it has all happened. I do not try to control our situation rather help to guild and direct it just a little. The baby does not sleep for long during the day as he loves to watch the others playing, writing and drawing. A consolation for our cat napping is the lovely long night of sleep 6-6 we have so I feel so renewed. The children play, argue, explore and breath. They have reconnected with one another and have opened up to me about how they are feeling. I am looking forward to being home again and trying to remember this time to keep me on track.