The start of a "bad" parent.

So I have started to become a bad parent?! Tonight Felix is riding home form his dance class by himeself all of 1km from our home 3 roads to cross and all by himself, he is almost 8. I shudder when I hear parents tell their children about the dangers of being taken by the boogie man if they disapear around a corner and are out of sight. I also talk to my kids about people we see and meeting the street. It is important for children to no be scard of people as 99+% are wonderful people who are their to help not to "steal you". I want my children to trust their instinct and so I feel it important to not let them inherit my fears but rather my confidence in knowing I can help myself and understand how to get out of a trouble situation. So it is not like I am going to throw them in the deep end without knowing how to swim. I love the mother who let her 9 year old ride the subway in NY alone.



So he made it home very excited that he had independently travelled home. How was it "I was a little nervous but super excited". The progression of letting go continues.......

Mothers and Daughters

I am blessed to have a daughter and are thankful everyday. The emotional waves of having a daughter can be full on as she is a real reflection of yourself, your own relationship with you mother and the strength of women that you are. Matilda and I clash, yell, bounce, glare, giggle, smile, laugh, roll eyes, sigh but under it all love each other very deeply. I love my sons as dearly but they will never really understand how it feels to be a women but my daughter will. I see my mother helping her mother, now in her 80's , return the love and compassion in caring for her as she becomes more frail. I was blessed to also see this 25 years ago when my great grandmother needed my grandmother for emotional support.

Reading

An abstract skill is to read and I welcome an education system which allows my dreamy children to learn to read at their own pace. From time to time I will panic when I see the gap in reading ability between main stream schooled children and my children. Felix is 7 which is when children are reading ready! But in a world where they are expected to be reading how does a child adapt to not reading yet.... Two experiences of late have been of interest: Felix sings in the Children's choir where they are given the lyrics as well as music when learning a new song. To my astonishment Felix informed me that he can't read the lyrics but knows exactly where they are up too as he can read the music and says he just copies the words from those around him. No one has noticed his "no reading status".
I tutor at a college which promotes academics for children from class 2. These are children who are generally a year ahead of their peers academically and will sit for scholarships and 40-50% of them will win one. I teach general ability math and science. They can all read very well and I was initially worried that Felix was so far behind. I will ask Felix from time to time some of the questions or activities I do with his peers in the college. So he can't read any of the questions and struggles to identify the specific (yes/no) answers which is a contrast to my students who fire off the answers with ease and certainty. But when a thinking question is raised there is the polar opposite situation. Felix can develop in depth responses and develop complicated ideas while my students are scared to open to a grey answer Felix can also apply this maths problems where complex ideas such as fractions are applied to different situations.
So he will confess he can not read, which he defines as being able read the Hobbit or Lord Of The Rings, but my fears and concerns are minimized for he will learn when he needs to and is ready and in the meantime he has and continues developed amazing analytical and imaginative skills which will help him to academically succeed in the future.

The change

After a heart wrenching 24 hours my baby made a quick and dramatic recovery but we were in the system. Ambrose woke up and could walk again and was not vomiting. Our gut instinct felt that this was true of the first diagnosis which did not need a MRI (with general anesthetic) but the anesthetist was knocking at the door, Ambrose had fasted but we wanted a second opinion and there was not a doctor insight. We waited, stood our ground, and the reassessment confirmed our feelings and the MRI was off. But I wonder what happens to parents who don't have the confidence to question and ask questions while being bombarded by the emotions of the situation. Ironically this was a foray into the word of birthing situations so many women are apart of in the main stream system where the systematic intervention spiral the normal process to birth to need induction, epidural, forceps and on and on. I want to trust the people who want to care for my children but I need to question and find the truth of the situation every time.

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Modern human women

I have a forebear who have had 21 children but as a modern women I will not be trying to match her family composition. I have the fortune to have at least 15 months of amenorrhea after the birth of each child. As I come to the end of my child bearing years i feel pangs of closure which I will be reminded of monthly until my 50's. I am note sure how I will transition to this new phase but a celebration and mourning it will be. Although the modern women does not bear children from teenage to late 40's as my grandmothers of eras before did there is still the instinctual emotional and burning desire which can be found within.

What do you want to be when you grow up

Felix, Matilda and I like to discuss what we want to be when we grow up. Felix currently wants to be an inventor and teacher. 4 days inventing and 3 days teaching!
Matilda loves band aids blood and dead animals and has decided that she wants to be a doctor. I mean while think I might not be a teacher for ever and might be a midwife or gardener or both ;)

Travel

THere are plans brewing in our home and what I look forward most to is decluttering our lives in preparation. It is cleansing to clear away the excess in ones life and strip back to the basics. What is a little more difficult is trying to get 5 and 7 year olds to understand this notion but the process will be a great lesson for them both. The baby on the otherhand is happy to play with the crockery and cultery and will know no difference. After the start of clutter clearing we will be investigating new schools for the children and homes in new cities.........