We sold our cot

We purchased a cot 3 1/2 years ago. I was pregnant and like most of us being bombard by this notion that I need this and that for our baby. High on the list was a cot. So we brought the cot home place it in the "babies room" and started to create the nursary! I am so relieved now that I found information about the natural rythums and rightfull sleep place of babies when I was 7 months pregnant. I remember reading that children who sleep in close proximity to their parents have their temperature regulated, can feed when their bodies tell them it is time too and do not fall into deep sleep which can increase the risk of COT death. On the negative side there is the risk of rolling onto you baby and apparently people feel you will "spoil" your child. Armed with this new founded information I talked about sharing our bed with Michael. Michael is truely a natural parent at heart. While I battle with my upbringing, "what other people think and not wanting to be different, Michael naturally knows what is best for his children.

Upon bring Felix home I place him in the cot the first night we arrived home. I lay in bed- It felt all wrong. I had spent 5 days in hospital with him in my bed the entire time. I had had him inside my body for 10 months and now I was going to put him a bed that looks more like a cage. 10 mins later he was in our bed and has slept there ever since. So now I have 2 children and a cot which has been used for 10 minutes. I finally listed it on ebay last week and the cot has been sold. Perhaps our cot will again stand unused in it's new home. What I hope most of all that the cot never hears the sad cries of a child abandonded by its mindless parents in the hope it will learn to sleep (that is a whole other issue!).

So as you can guess I am pro co-sleeping but most of all I am choice and for parents to understand why their children need them at night. I get really cross when parents suggesting that their baby is manipulating them!

A story by Felix and I: Gussy and the bird

Felix and I were sewing a new skirt .. BANG went a bird into the back window. We jumped up and went into the laundry to discover 2 (although Felix counts to 3) birds! They had come inside through the open back door to have a look around. They are call Indian Miners. Felix and I tried to open a window to let them out. But Gussy had another idea. He jumped up and grabbed the bird and broke it's neck. The bird lay on the ground and called "birrrrr birrrrr birrr" then died. Gus felt assamed and would not look at the other bird. I open the window to release the second bird. Gus lay on his bed sad. Felix and I picked up the dead bird- it was warm, lifeless and floppy. Felix and I decided to put it in the bin. Here are a few statements from Felix about the event.

"Gussa get the bird.. now picked the bird he jumped up and put in in the ground and it screamed bird bird bird don't put me on the ground and broke my neck- oh (smiles) Tilda woke up (and runs into the sleep room to greet her with a smile)"

THE END

Felix's Poster

I have long resisted a strict routine with my children as I believe that following babies lead is important to build trust, a good breastfeeding outcome and to learn to understand your baby. We have followed Felix's lead for the last 3 years with much success. So when Felix started to really have "issues" over the last month- I listened, I reasoned but to no avail. Felix issue= one or more of the following: waking up sad, negative, difficulties moving from one activity to the next, being frustrated and not giving things a go and extreme emotional outbursts. Michael and I started to ask ourselves- why is our wonderful boy so frustrated? Upon chatting with a really special friend this week, I described Felix's attitudes, emotional outbursts and issues. It is wonderful to talk to other parent's with children older than yours. My friend smiled and said "I have the female version of Felix, and she is 3 years older!".

So armed with some fantastic suggestions, Felix and I spent Wednesday afternoon creating his poster! We created a pictorial morning and evening flow. The basic things we generally get done every morning and evening such as brush our teeth, have a feed and get dressed. He loves it! Whenever he starts to get frustrated I remind him to check his poster to see what is next! He is playing well, communicating well, loves going to bed and wakes up with a smile on his face. Now I just need to work out how to stop him sitting on his sister like a horse ..

Matilda's Birth Story

On the day I was due (30/7/06) with my second child I waddled off to the acupunturest/ naturopath to start the "induction" processes. I had come so close to being induced with Felix, 2 years prior, that I was taking any chances. My naturopath Chris was great. It was almost relaxing having some fine needles placed into key pressure points around my body. He also prescribed some homeopaths to take if contractions began to help to strengthen them. That night I had some mild contractions but they disapated by morning. Unlike my first pregnancy, I was unable to rest much while running around with 2 year old Felix. To my surprise I had managed to continue to breastfeed throughout the pregnancy. He was having very short feeds and was getting colostrum. I was looking forward to seeing Felix's response to my milk flow when the baby arrived. Each night after my accupunture I got contractions but only a few- each time they started I would get out of bed- unable to sleep for a couple of hours. By the time I was 9 days over due you can imagine I was very tired.

I was preparing breakfast- It is Sunday morning. 8:39am I get a sharp but short contraction- ooohh I remember this pain. The contractions I had been having during the evenings were definately pre-labour- this contraction hurt 8:51am another short and sharp contraction- wow this seems fast only 12 mins apart but it was only 10 sec long. These regular short sharp contractions continue for the next 2 or so hours until 11:30am. I took the dogs, Michael and Felix for a walk and still 10 sec contractions 10 minutes apart. I called the birthing centre- so say I would call them when we wanted to come in.

I called Mum- and asked her to come and spend the rest of the day and night with us- just in case we needed to go to hospital- but I was sure we would be in for a long night!

They continue to be very regular but so short. Mum arrived and we had dinner. Michael took Felix for a walk and they pop off to bed at 8pm. I am in for a busy night so I watch some TV, try to relax. Mum and I have wonderful chats till 10pm. I sat on gym ball and rolled my way through the pain. Just after 10 Mum decided to go to sleep. I can't sleep. I have a few contractions by myself and get a little worried. I don't want to be alone. I want someone to talk too. I want to hold someones hand.

I try to get my husband up- man he is a heavy sleeper. I get him up and Mum too and decide to have a bath. I hop in the bath and in minutes don't want to be in there. We ring the hospital- they say it is up to me. I love the birth centre but hate them at the same time. I want to know when it is time to leave.

Michael and I decided to go- even to just have a check up. My contrations are still 10 sec long 10 minutes apart. I start to get emotional and worry I might never see Felix again. I get mum to promise that she will look after him. I can't decide- Mum and Michael say to go I 'm not sure. We leave home at 23.30. The car trip was fine- we chatted the entire trip- still 10 sec contractions but now 25 min apart- this might be on all night- when will the contrations get longer I kept thinking?

We arrive at the Hospital at 23:50. I feel right- I can have my baby here- I think to myself. 5 contractions and 5 minutes later we arrive at Room 2 at Birthing centre. I announce I need to go to the toilet. Later my midwife said she thought I was in transition when I so boldly announced my requirements. She was right.

It is midnight. Michael goes back to car to get our suitcase and check me in. I try to lye on my back to have some monitoring done. I can can't lye still. I keep jumping to my feet and moving moving moving.
12:05 My midwife suggests I take my pants off. I take all my clothes off and lean over the bed. Michael arrives back in our room. He is taken back- "why is Sarah naked? It is a bit early for that isn't it?"12:08 I let go and push. My birth plan had expressed that I wanted to guild my baby out myself but when asked I say I don't want to. 2 contractions and 2 minutes after beginning to push the waters break and my babies head is out.
12:10 My baby starts talking to me and 2 minutes later at 12:12 on 28th August 2006 my beloved daughter Matilda Jane Milewska is born.

My second natural birth- this time without any gas. The love you feel throughout your body is amazing after a natural birth. Oxytocin pumps through your body at the level you will ever experience- thankfully I could feel it from head to toe. Oxytocin is the love hormone and suffice to say I feel in love with my daughter the moment I heard her talk. I love you Matilda. Happy Birthday.

Happy Monday Tigger

or is that happy windsday piglet. Felix has discovered the amazing world of Christopher Robin. Only 3 weeks post his 3rd birthday the "new" toys have almost been discarded and the old favourites are out again. We play the Winnie the Pooh story over and over again. In between Chapters we are baking a yummy carrot Cake for Matilda's birthday. I have a bliss filled house. My baby(Matilda) is getting better from her first illness in her life, the sun is shinning- I can plan those tomatoes soon and Felix and I are in the same vibe. Hey it Matilda's first birthday tomorrow- better finish writing her birth story. Happy cakeday Tigger!

30 mins later.............
I put one child to sleep while the other eats a small version of the birthday cake. After coming back from lying with Matilda (approx 5 minutes)... The Big Birthday cake has been sliced Felix announces! Wow Felix that's great!

Do it again

Being a kid and needing to learn everything from walking to talking involves a lot of repetition. No doubt this is why kids get drawn into routine so easily. It is part of making their life and surroundings easier to understand. For us adults most of it is old hat especially things like dressing and undressing. For me, two kids have taught me the dangers of undressing. For Felix it is just a fun activity which he is happy to practice over and over again, trying on his undies in every possible direction on every part of the body.

An extension of this is their ability to mimic a broken record even thought they have never seen, heard one. Just as I am writing this blog, Felix is chanting like a monk "co to jest, co to jest, . . ." (what is this at a pizza base waiting for tomorrows dinner) and now "to jest szklanka, to jest szklanka, . . ." (this is a glass, my ignoring him raises him steadily to a forte). And so it was when I acted out a story with some cars and wooden people. Each time I finished I got a reminder, "do it again" and over again.

Finally the repetition paid off, after about 15 stories. Felix decided he still wanted it again so he acted it out himself. I watched and enjoyed. Then he took it one step further, why should the ambulance have the important job of taking the injured boy to hospital? This is a time for Thomas! So Thomas chuffed over to the boy, told the car driver off, heaved the boy up onto the boiler and away they went to the hospital. Felix was not too impressed with me when I told him that the boy now had burns as well, from sitting on the hot boiler of the engine, nothing the doctor couldn't fix.

Looking back at it, my story was probably not fit for a three year old. This especially true once I filmed it with Felix and now watching him act it out. Basically a boy tries to cross a road and gets run over by a car. An ambulance takes him to a doctor who fixes him up before the child is reunited with his mother. The infringing driver is told off and the kid manages to cross the street to get to school. The strong moral overtone justifies the grim story. That said I do not think it appropriate to put our filmed story onto youtube.

tuseday is ballet day

The other day it was me unblocking one of dads bags and tubes with a hesitant breath followed by a mouth wash, today it was Matilda's turn. Oh well what does not kill you only makes you stronger.

Felix is getting into a bit of ballet. This morning it was tutu and ballet shoes, a wand with a ribbon on the end, and wild pirouets that end in his head comming closely to hitting something like the piano, a chair or a door frame. Even I put my ballet shoes on to try and encourage some jumps, kicks and toe points.