Goodbye Penny

I attended the funeral of a close family friend yesterday and have felt waves of grief in the past week. Penny was a close friend of my mothers and they had their eldest baby boys at the same time. I have warm, exciting memory of her from my childhood and although I have not seen her in my adult life I have heard of her life via conversations with mum. Penny died after battling cancer which she had put in remission when her first diagnosis was grim. But two weeks ago it jumped her. She died with her husband and three boys at her bedside and never stopped being a strong and loving mother wife sister and friend. It was incredibly hard to watch her sons ( only a little younger than me) say goodbye to their darling mother. I felt their grief and have found myself wondering how I will greave in the future for my grandparents and parents. I looked across to my parents during the service and saw their grief. To lose a friend is also so hard and to know you cant catch up for a chat ever again. I have made it a focus to remember to see my friends and family when ever I can so that I don't miss those incidental connections and time which can make the fabric life.

Second mummy

Give me a boy till he is 7 and I will show you the man.

My first baby is 7 (&1/4)very important to remember that when you are 7! Gaps in his mouth are quickly filling with adult teeth. I am starting to really struggle when we wrestle. He is starting to be better at things like ballet and piano than I ever have been. We are heading towards making decisions in his life that might change his options in the future. Singing or ballet or both.
But what is lovely to see is that the attachment parenting we decided to undetake 7 years ago has helped to create an independent emotionally balanced 7 year old boy who has many friends of all ages and a stunning confidence and optimism that will see that His future will be dynamic and what he wants it to be.
I look forward to seeing this 7 year old becoming a wonderful man.

Postnatal depression

Aaaah depression a world you can not use with some people but thankfully my husband and friends it is a conversation we can openly have. I like every human naturally swing with moods. Some days are great others a little plain and some dark. Very normal but throw in a baby and normal can feel like a 1000 miles away.
What I think makes it hardest is the lack of acknowledgement from some people. You know the ones who only have time for you when success triumph good times are abundant.

I love to share my ups and downs and are thankful that a network of friends family and the community I live have helped to hold me during these first few months of my babies life.

My baby and big kids

I have found my love for my 7 1/2 month Ambrose swelling. Big kids are great but I need to work harder to connect and draw them in. One on one so important and I need to find more time for myself and with each of my children. Matilda love to swim and Felix loves to have first born time. Time for me to direct this attention as the child use negative activity to seek their needs.

Matilda prep orientation

Matilda is 5 and will start school next year. We are ready and have been for well over 6 months. November heralds the beginning of orientation where we meet the students who will begin the educational journey with Matilda over 4 half day sessions. I hope Matilda finds her confidence within the group and that it isn't filled with know all first borns like her brother and cousins (& mother:)
I do not find her starting school as daunting as when Felix started and I hope she can draw on our confidence.

Being 7 months

Ambrose is 7 months and has been crawling now for the past 2 months. He has taught himself to clap and will clap along with songs sung or played on the piano. 7 teeth are used to bite fingers as well as food. Ambrose is leading the way with what he wants to eat so far everything except chickpea seems to delight him Ambrose is completely in love with Felix and Matilda. His face lights up with delight when we pick them up from kinder or school. Ambrose happily sleeps with michael and I at night and will feed between 2-6 times in an evening. Ambrose is a delightful happy and smiley baby who we all enjoy throughly everyday.