A brain minute..

I know parents who have children who are out of control and very difficult to live with. There seems to be the parents who ask for help and those who deny to themselves that there is a problem. Everyone is doing the best they can. But sometimes it is easy to think it is all ok rather than admit you can't do something. I am bless with parents who have never made me feel like I failed even when I have attempted something and not got to where I imagined or hoped for. I was that annoying child at school who kept asking questions- even the dumb ones- only to realise that 80% of the class wanted to but didn't want appear to be stupid.

An aspect I really struggle with- to parent and help a child grow and develop in the way we want means admitting and dealing with our own faults, hang-ups, relationships with our own parents and siblings.

I have a image of family, trusting, supportive, generous, loving, challenging, perhaps an idealistic vision but one to working towards I think. Is it right to simply let apart of your family slide away and simply have "nice" meaningless moments once or twice a year? Questions questions questions. That's better a rant a brain minute- now off to read about biodynamic gardening for the kinder veg patch!

Kinder feedback from Felix's teacher

Felix is so such an asset to the play. He is filled with fantastic ideas and plays so well with all the children. He is making friends very easily and seems to have a special friendship with Robbie. He creates wonderful stories and is very confident.

At the end of a kinder day

Felix looks through th sea of parents for me. He scans nervously. Finally our eyes connect. He runs to cuddle me and starts to chat about having his water bottle, bag and hat. "I'm hungry", I hand him his sandwich, he drops to the ground and munches away.

Arriving at Kinder

The doors open and children rush through the doors. A space filled with wonderful activities, a marble race, a cubby, sewing, painting and story constructed from blocks, cloth and small wooden animal. Felix forgets I exists. He is busy. Ready. I kiss him goodbye- he doesn't even follow my path to the door. I pang of sadness fills my heart for a moment. This is yet another step I will take as my baby grows into childhood.

Am I doing the right thing?

It breaks my heart when I leave Tilda at creche. She will cry out. I am assured that it only lasts a few minutes. But the more I read about mental health, social intelligence, anxiety and childcare is only not ideal situation for children under 3. I know children who have not been int eh primary care of their mother or father and they do seem to have social adjustment issues, some children find the pressure of childcare so hard they can't go to the toilet, eat, sleep or relax when away from their parents. Some children even bite or hit when they don't get what they want. Fortunately Tilda does not suffer from these issues. I feel this is because the centre she goes to is based on steiner and Montessori's philosophies and the staff ratios exceed the state requirements. How childcare centers can run with 1/5 ratios for under 3 is beyond me. Most days I arrive there are carers sitting cuddling the children- something I have rarely seen at other centers. So I ask myself and will continue to do so: Am I doing the right thing?

Arriving at Kinder

The doors open and children rush through the doors. A space filled with wonderful activities, a marble race, a cubby, sewing, painting and story constructed from blocks, cloth and small wooden animal. Felix forgets I exists. He is busy. Ready. I kiss him goodbye- he doesn't even follow my path to the door. I pang of sadness fills my heart for a moment. This is yet another step I will take as my baby grows into childhood.

Body Balance

I continue to be a nightmare to live with. For 4 years my bodies hormone swing has been a trial for all. I have however enjoyed having only 4 periods in 4 years. The two pregnancies and ongoing lactation have been difficult emotionally but nothing compared to the monthly fertile hormone cycle- which has just returned. I am tempted to just get pregnant again- yet the thought of pregnancy does not appeal. At least excercise curbs my frustration and makes me easier to live with.